Choosing what is normal

The first time I had hives, you had threatened to take your life. My body felt like it was burning from within and my chest began to itch.
I drove around each of your favourite haunts, trying to find you, convince you that there is always hope. Instead I found you peacefully asleep on your mother’s couch.
It was then, at two in the morning, when I realised how little life means to you and how lost you were.
I realised that life with you would always be a dramatic production, with the highs matched with equally intense lows and if I stayed, one day a family would be part of this cycle.
And I chose for this not to be normality;
For them,
For me.
And the hives
Remained in my body
As a reminder
Not to succumb to drama.

Copyright Hiraeth 2016