Invisible

How sad that one
Of your last conversations
Was one about feeling
Invisible
After 40,
Heartbreaking.
I wish someone, anyone
Could have told you,
Reminded you,
You belong:
You are beautiful,
As a mother,
As a sister,
As a daughter,
As a friend,
You were never invisible,
Even though
He made you believe
You
were.

And maybe that is
One of the most important
(and lifesaving)
kindnesses
We can show each other
Just a simple reminder:
I see you,
I value you.

Copyright Hiraith 2017

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With time

With time
You see it for what it was,
For what you fell,
Crazy love
The type that endangers
Your life at 180km/h
On the freeway,
The type that breaks in to
Your house,
The type that steals
Your money,
The type that shouts
So loud and obscene
That your sensitive self
Crumbles;
And you allow it
Because any drama,
Any love,
Even this
Is something,
Fills some void.
And with time
You forgive
Your naive self,
Your weak self
And embrace
Your broken self
And
You
Hold
Her.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017

Linkin Park

This world is becoming
Unbearable
For sensitive souls
The pace at which
We live, move, breathe
Conflicts in every way
With the rhythm
Of a sensitive soul.
It devours the time
To reflect,
To cry,
To heal.
Social media
overwhelms us,
Every mistake we
Ever made is flashed
Back as a memory.
Every person we lost
Lives on there,
A timeline of
Emotional memory
You have no control over.
Every person seems
To be coping better
Have it together,
Have the best filters
For their life.
The violence of the world
Casually displays
On your morning feed,
Children gassed to death
And women scarred by
Acid.
And your sensitive self
Chokes,
It gasps for air.
You begin to medicate,
Suffocate,
Find a vice to deal
With each day,
Until you realise
You are fighting a battle
You can’t win
On your own;
But you are
A
L
O
N
E.
Here is where that
Discussion about
How many talented souls
Are committing suicide
Should start.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017

Somewhere

And you start somewhere
Because anywhere,
Even a few steps ahead
Is better
Than this hell
You
Created and called home.
So you start focussing
On your job,
Meaning something to others,
Because you
Have nothing
To offer yourself.
And you get up,
Even when you find it hard
Even when sleep,
Is a sweet retreat
From reality,
Even when you fail
To see any sense.
And slowly it gets easier
There are small glimpses
Of hope,
A note of appreciation,
A smile on someone’s face.
One step each day
Turns into months,
Years,
And slowly you become
Brave,
You start to believe
That perhaps
You do have a place
To call home,
And you realise
Home doesn’t need to
Be
A person.
And He
Becomes your home.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017

Seventeen

We were seventeen.
We would sit on the carpet
And you would play
On the guitar
While we sang
K’s Choice songs
About 20 000 seconds
Since you were gone,
We sang it
Like we knew about loss,
Like it was real to us.
And this morning
I played their songs
At maximum volume
And sang along
About 20 000 seconds
Since you were gone,
I sang it
Like I knew about loss,
Like it was real to me.
And I realised,
We were beautiful,
Forever captured in our
Youth and naivety.
And every now and then
You play K’s Choice songs
In my dreams
And I
Sing
Like you are real to me.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017

My Little Warrior

Sometimes
It’s not about his bike that broke
Or the Lego warrior who’s
Sword is missing,
Or the biscuit that is broken
And should be whole
No,
It’s not about the noodles
You made
When he really felt like
Sweet corn soup.
Sometimes
It’s just about:
Him having been a warrior today,
And now he needs you
To hold him,
Tickle his back
And tell him:
He is your
Little
Warrior.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017

Walk On

And one day
You lay the drama down
Like a coat that for a while
Was comfort,
Was love,
But now fits awkwardly,
Chokingly,
Revealing all your
Imperfections,
Every curve and contour.
And you take it off
Because your role is done
And although the rest still
Play their roles
(ever less convincingly)
You no longer can.
And without blame,
(Because stupidity
always requires two)
You stand naked
In your shame,
In your self
And with bravery
As your only companion
(but the one who breathed life
into you holding your hand)
You
walk
on.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017