This time

This time
I will get it right
(Because last time
I failed)
I will see and live in this
As sacred,
(Because last time
The sacred got lost
In the mundane)
I will honour our history
And every trial and tribulation;
(Because last time
New spoke in an
Enchanting voice)
I will accept that there are
Many seasons
And weather them hand in hand
Even the lonely ones,
Even the days where I feel
Disconnected
(Because last time
I let go of his hand
And let winter stay)
I will not let you go
Or down
(Because last time
I lost everything)
And now
You are
Everything.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017

All the moments

I will love you
In all the moments,
Even those
Inbetween, the ones
Where my own fears
Reside and shame
Stands accusing,
You have been
Here before
And drenched in
Fight or flight mode
My inner child screams
Leave;
Now,
Burn before
You get burnt;
Even in those,
I will nurture my
Resolve:
and love you
In all these moments,
Because you gave
My inner child
A home.

Copyright Hiraeth 2017

October’s Spell

It started in October.
Everything you did, said, implied,
Engraved on your face,
Got under my skin, my nails;
Your laid-back attitude,
That kept me calm, centered
Now aroused anger,
It went from complacency to
Laziness in my head
As the days passed.
By the middle of the month
I imagined myself booting you off
That damn Coricraft corner unit
With the two sets of removable covers
On which your outline had an imprint
And very soon,
On that same couch, with the olive
Set on, sitting side by side,
I said, “I am done.”
And your face revealed
You were done too.
And now when I read the news,
See how many celebrity couples
Are done
In October;
I think to myself
If only they held on for two
More months,
In January,
Things will be different,
(and that forsaken couch
will be clean)
Things always look more hopeful;
Just
get
through
October.

Copyright Hiraeth 2016

I still see you

I still see you
Even though life is moving
At the speed of sound
And we merely cross paths
A few times each day,
I want you to know,
I still see you
Even though our love has
Changed, matured, weathered
And the giddiness is gone
Replaced by responsibility
And day to day life
I want you to know
I still see you
I still recognize what I love,
And day by day
As our journey unfolds,
I
Still
See
You.

Copyright Hiraeth 2016

Ok

What I love most
About you
Is that you make me
Believe it will all be ok,
(With a pack of cigarettes
In your pocket)
As long as we live
Moment to moment
In the present, we will make it,
We will be ok.
I run ahead, make plans,
Concoct scenarios in my head,
What if you, what if I,
What if they…
See our future unfold, sometimes
Crack, end.
You turn me back
And say
Here,
Right now,
This is what matters
And most times
I believe you.

Copyright Hiraeth 2016

Swimming @ Seventy

Today on the beach
An older couple caught my eye.
About seventy,
She had a full costume on that
Perfectly suited her athletic, petite frame,
Her stylish grey bob dancing in the wind.
He was in boardshorts and Billabong rash vest, still handsome in his years.
They held hands as they walked into the sea,
And when they were midwaist in the water,
She dived under a wave and playfully splashed his face,
He jumped over the waves and in the lull between sets, floated on his back.
When they were done, they walked out hand in hand and reaching their bag, he wrapped a towel around her.
I was mesmerized and thought, here is love.
I imagined a journey shared, a home built, tribulations and trials, loss, celebrations, life.
And here they were, still standing, still swimming, still together.
And I thought if surfer and I are blessed to live that long, I want to swim in the sea with him every single day until death breaks us apart.

Copyright Hiraeth 2016

Love is Addition

I love you
Not because I will disintegrate
Without you,
Not because I have to lean on you,
Or topple to the ground,
Not because you understand
Every etched scar upon my soul
(some still bleed from time to time)
But
Because you choose to build a life,
A family with me,
You choose to hold me late at night,
Gorilla-grip and rhythmic breath,
You choose to venture into my
Feeling world and though most times
You are lost, you still walk bravely
Step by step
(often with a cigarette in hand)
Finally I now see that love
Is not completion,
Instead
Addition.

Copyright Hiraeth 2016