Author: hiraethphoenix

On weddings

~ hiraethphoenix

“There is something sacred about sharing your wedding day with your friends and family. Only later when I attended a friend’s wedding on my own, freshly single, did I realise this. It struck me as we all surrounded the newly wed couple and released butterflies in the air. You become a witness to a couple’s commitment to each other. You become a person who can remind them of that commitment when times are rough. We could have done with a whole lot more witnesses.”

Excerpt From: Hiraeth. “Hiraeth Phoenix.”

The awkward years

~ hiraethphoenix

“Your popularity served me very well. For most of high school I felt awkward, completely out of place. You became my security object. With you by my side, I actually felt like I belonged. In new social situations I would whimper in your shadow and wait for you to make conversation. I was never good about talking about diddles and daddles. The weather? I honestly don’t care. It’s hot, this goddamn place is always hot. A psychologist who once did a personality test on me remarked that I don’t suffer fools gladly. And I don’t.”

Excerpt From: Hiraeth. “Hiraeth Phoenix.”

Mirror me

~ hiraethphoenix ~ Leave a comment

Maybe you need to read this
line by line, word by word,
strewn between carefully crafted punctuation marks,
in partial poetry, prose.
Maybe you need to feel this
line by line, word by word
captured feelings tracing patterns of my heart,
tracing them for you to read.
(And the fear of being judged?
I lay it bare for you to see:
You become my mirror and set me free)

Copyright Hiraeth 2015

He/she

~ hiraethphoenix ~ Leave a comment

He never said
So you never knew
That he offered all he could
Instead you focussed on lack
On what he could not give
And the more he gave, the more
You met him with resistance
But he never said
So you never knew
That he loved you night as day
All the forms of you
Instead you felt unnoticed
Wilting like a flower left to fend
Alone
But he never said
So you never knew
That he missed you morning to night
Every second, hour, day
Instead you focussed on his ego
The I-don’t-need-you-and-never-did
But he never said
So you never knew
If only he said,
If only you
had
known.

Copyright Hiraeth 2015

Soar

~ hiraethphoenix ~ Leave a comment

My heart flies late at night,
always starting in the past
in what could have been,
should have been,
it passes through the moments
of bliss and beauty and turns
at reality;
it steps through the moments
you were mine and the many more
I wished you were,
it flies amongst the pieces,
tears of what was us
and it stands brave because
the sun awakes and makes it way
to a new day
(and there is always
a new day)

Copyright Hiraeth 2015

Heart set free

~ hiraethphoenix ~ Leave a comment

“For such a long time I blamed you for not fighting for me, for us, for not giving me the movie ending where you rush to meet me on the beach at sunset and poetically declare your undying love in sonnet form (or burst into ballad with your guitar). Except today, today while I watered my Frangupanis and looked at the mountain and smelt the sea air, I realised your actions may have spoken of a much deeper love: the kind that sets a restless soul free to find its wings (and soar).” – copyright HiraethPhoenix 2015

Wind

~ hiraethphoenix ~ Leave a comment

Sunset on the beach and there is a wind blowing slightly offshore. It makes the grains of sand dance around your ankles, it lightly whispers in your ear. It embraces you exactly where you are and plaits your hair in intricate patterns. Every now and then a gust comes through and wipes a tear from the corner of your eye. A tear that needed to be shed, was waiting to be heard. The wind dares not to know the truth, does not ask where you have been, who you have been, but echoes beauty, renewal, always glimpses of sun-kissed youth. It’s in these moments that for me, heaven and earth collide.

Copyright Hiraeth 2015